13 weeks or so...

I'm an idiot. I forgot to unblock my blog when I made it public. Sorry if you've been trying to read it! Geez.

Anyway, so, I thought that I might have a UTI yesterday, so I called the OB/GYN to see if I should come in to see them or go to my GP. They asked me to come in to see them and the doc was even going to be in the office for another patient, so I got to see him briefly. But, since I was there, he tried to find the heartbeat through my tummy and SUCCESSS!!!! The extra s is because it's extra sweet.

So, I don't go back to the doc until Nov. 20th! And then, very soon after, I think, I will get to do my testing and my gender scan! Woot! I really really really want to know what we're having! Then I can start buying like a crazy person. But, I really want a girl. Like, really badly. Because then, if I want, I never have to do this again. I don't care what people say, I have had a very hard time with this whole process and I'm not sure if I want to do it again. But, if it's a boy, I'll be happy, but not as much as if it's a girl. In fact, I'll probably cry. Hey, I'm just being honest. :)

No other new news on the baby front. My stomach is starting to stick out more and more, but I can still fit into my jeans, so I'm good. :)

12 weeks 1 day

Well, I made it. It's the birthday and I am still preggo.

So, I admitted it on my blog. Not that anyone reads that anymore.

I don't think that I'll admit it at work until someone else calls me out on it. I just don't feel like sharing stuff with the rest of my group. I'm just not that excited about yet. Maybe when it seems more real to me. I just don't believe yet. Which is silly of me.

Still feel sicky, BUT, I have been taking my zofran, which REALLY helps out a lot AND I think that I have been feeling better in general. Hopefully, in a few more weeks, I will be feeling much better. I'm hopeful.

11 weeks 2 days

And I still feel like throwing up at any given moment.

Such as right now. I don't know if it's because I digest food SOOOO slowly now that my stomach feels like death or what. But, I seriously feel like I'm going to have to dash for the bathroom any moment. And that just sucks.

I mean, I guess it's a good thing, but it's official: I do not like being pregnant.
I find it to be hard on me, considering that I have trouble with changes and every day is something new.

Jake's mom is here right now and it's wonderful. But, I never do anything. I've just been sitting around and doing nothing because I feel so terrible most of the time.

Ugh, seriously. I've got that watery feeling. I feel like just getting up and doing it so it's done with.

Nothing new otherwise. Next doc appt is Nov. 6th at 4:45pm, so I won't miss any work. I will be 14 weeks by then, so we should be hearing a heartbeat in the office pretty well. I think maybe I could even have a gender scan sometime in November, if lucky. Maybe early December. I'll have to see what the doc says.

I'm getting some pressure from one of the older ladies at work who knows that I am preggo to tell people. I will, when I feel confident about this. And I'm not sure when that will be. I said that I would tell people when I bring treats in next Monday (for my Sunday birthday), but we'll see. I don't feel like disclosing. And frankly, being pressured to tell people a) makes me want to do the opposite and b) pisses me off.

Oh well. I shouldn't be that upset about it. My feelings are that everyone who I feel should know, knows and the only reason that this lady knows is because she asked me about it and I didn't deny it. If she hadn't asked me, then she wouldn't know either. so there.

10 weeks 4 days

So, I had another ultrasound today, because we weren't finding the heartbeat in the office at my appts. Which makes sense, since they had me at 10w4d today. It's too early to hear through my tummy. Sweet!

The baby was measuring, clearly, 10w4d today, when based on my due date (which is totally inaccurate anyway) says I should be 11 weeks. Oh well. What can you do?

The baby was wiggling all over the place and it was really cool to see. The heart was beating away -- 167 BPM. At one point, the baby was curled up and she (I'm gonna say it's a girl until told otherwise) stretched out her little legs for a second or two and then back to curled up.

It was really really neat and it made me feel a lot better. So, now I have to just call the doc tomorrow and I'll probably have to go to back to the doc in a couple weeks to listen for the heartbeat again.

So, I guess that I feel confident enough to start telling people. And by that, I mean, making this blog public and not really saying much else other than that. I'll have more to tell eventually.

The Morning sickness (or in my case, all-day nausea that causes me to have trouble eating) has really been kicked down by the zofran and just general remedies, like ginger ale and just eating smaller meals more often through out the day. Tonight, I was even able to crush four pieces of Toppers, which is probably the most I've eaten in one sitting in a while. I'm hoping that it will totally go away in the next couple of weeks. But, I believe that my goal of making it past my birthday is well in hand. I'm really thinking that we're going to have a honest to goodness baby in May! Woot!

9 weeks 2 days (or 8 weeks 4 days)

Things continue to roll on.

Had another appt yesterday where they tried to find the HB with doppler through my tummy. No luck.

Since I consider myself under 9 weeks still, I was not surprised by this.

I go back in two weeks. Which is October 16th. I don't know how I feel about this. I almost changed the appt from that date. But, maybe it's a good thing too. And by my calculations, I will be 10 weeks (11 weeks by theirs), so there will be a good chance to find it next time.

I have been spotting brown since the bleeding incident two weeks ago. It comes and goes. Since I still feel preggo, I'm not worried about it. If I stop feeling preggo, then I will worry.

I also currently have a cold. Sore throat, coughing and sneezing. Suck.

I got Zofran for the nausea on Tuesday, because it was starting to rule my life. Seriously. Now, I can eat or wait to eat without completely losing it. Which is good, because I was starting to break down earlier and earlier in the week at night. And now Jake doesn't have to worry about me so much either.

This is crunch time. This is for all the marbles. If I can make it though October, I will admit I am preggo, this blog will magically appear, and I will feel fairly confident about everything.