14 weeks and whatever

The nausea continues....

I do okay if I can rest, but work kills me. Seriously.

I was doing pretty well last week. Monday was good, Tuesday was better. Wednesday...I waited too long to eat breakfast and things went down hill pretty freakin' fast. By Thursday, I looked like hell and I barely had the energy to haul my body around work. I tried to eat soup and an apple for lunch -- things that normally would make me feel okay and it was not good. I felt worse, as if that were possible.

So, I came home early on Thursday and rested upstairs for a couple of hours. Then, I gave up on life altogether and took my zofran, which I have really been trying to stop. I still looked terrible, I guess, because Jake came home and said as much. It didn't really bother me, because I felt too bad to care.

BUT, I was better yesterday and today. So, I'm hanging in there.

If it's not nausea, it's indigestion. It's really frustrating for me. I'm such a control freak and I don't take change well. And currently, I've got something going on in my body that I have absolutely no control over, which makes me sad. Depressed. Frustrated. So many feelings.

Only 6 more months to go, right? :)

Cross your fingers and think girl for me.

In pregnancy related news:

Friday morning, I walk into my boss's office and she proceeds to "talk" (i.e. reprimand) at me for making a silly typo on a document that I had to send out for a new customer -- ordinarily, not a big deal. However, it was in conjunction with me not double checking my work on something else and I got talked at. I think that it was more frustrating for me because she asks me what's going on with me. Those type of errors are totally out of character for me, which she said as much, and it's just like, YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!! I'm PREGNANT!!! It's not like I'm the same old same old for 9 months and then a stork brings a baby at the end. These old ladies forget what that was like, I think. Plus, I think that I am having a more difficult time with everything that most women. I can't tell you how draining it is to be nauseous 24-7. But, those type of errors happen. IDK why I typed 57.56 instead of 57.25!!! WHO CARES!!! It's $.31!!!! JEBUS!! So, I was a little frustated with that. Plus, since I've been totally burnt out from work for the past 2 months (basically the whole time that I've felt sick), so I just don't care when I screw up. I'd prefer to be fired almost. Well, okay, not REALLY, but you know what I mean. I haven't had a real vacation since early July and I don't get one until the end of December. That's a long freakin' time. I was going to ask if I could take a day or two without pay, but now that I'm on the radar as "not a good employee" (which is such a bunch of bullshit, I know that there was more that was not said about that to me, but I couldn't take much that morning and started crying almost immediately, which shut my boss up pretty fast, because she felt bad then), I'm sure that it would be out of the question. No matter how much I would need it.

Anyway, that's my rant/vent for this week. Hopefully, there's not more next week. I just want to stay off the radar and do my job. Or I'll just go do something else. I'm not picky at this point.


My next appt is November 20th at 4:45pm. Hopefully at that appt, I will get to schedule my AFP test and my anatomy scan (hopefully, including GENDER!). I also picked out my bedding, for sure. I'll post a picture at some point. It's pretty gender neutral, I think. And it's got sheep on it. :)