I had this rant this morning...

And then I decided it wasn't that important to write 5 paragraphs about.

Suffice it to say that I think that I'm not getting paid as much from my STD insurance that I pay for and money will be a bit tighter this summer. Which is frustrating, but we'll make it work. I have to go back and refigure things. Hopefully, work will really start to pick up for Jake here.

Plus, money won't really be tight until June. I have to use three weeks vacay, so I will be getting paid for those weeks through the rest of the month. I'm glad I get paid in arrears instead of for current working.

I've been washing lots of diapers and getting all that ready. I need to finish the very last things in the nursery - hang up Ryan's name letters on his wall, hang the wall hangings that match the bedding, put up a shelf for diaper changing stuff. That should probably do it. I actually have my hospital bag mostly packed too! AMAZING! I just need to wash some clothes and throw those in there. I'll be taking a pair of good old maternity jeans and probably a t-shirt and tank top. Nothing fancy for coming home.

I'm still hoping that I come home from the hospital 20 pounds lighter. That would be pretty sweet. 15 pounds is doable to lose. That's what walking is for.

Still not feeling real sure about the whole breastfeeding thing. I know that I should try it, but I'm just not feeling positive about it. I would rather just pump and do bottles. We'll see what happens. That's all I can do.

I still have a feeling that I will end up with a c-section. I don't have any feeling that I am going to have any progress by Thursday (for the 4th week in a row) and while the doc may like to let nature take its course, I prefer just to kick things off. Which I will bring up. I'm tired of being pregnant. Have been for a while. In my unprofessional opinion, I think that if I haven't progressed at all in 4 weeks, another week won't make a difference. Which I will probably say. My feeling is that if he hasn't come by May 10th, I would like to be at the hospital in the morning on May 11th to start an induction. And even then, I almost just want to elect a c-section because inductions have a much high incidence of c-section anyway. This, however, may just be my frustration with no progress in three weeks talking. Of course, I don't want to use up a lot of leave time waiting for him either. So, it could be that frustration talking too.

I really want to have a garage sale this summer, too, while I'm off. I have SOOO much stuff that I need to get rid of, it's not even funny. And if I could sell enough to make a car payment, that would be pretty sweet. But, I need to go through everything in the house and that would take me at least a week and even then, I would need somewhere to put it all. I guess I should just decide to do it and then go for it. Mom could watch Ryan while I dig through shit, if necessary, I'm sure. We'll see. I have lots of clothes that I have already gone through that I need to at least try to sell. I guess that I could start washing them and empty out rubbermaid containers and put them all in there for now. I just have so much stuff that I would like to get out of the house! I've wanted to do this since last summer, but last summer was just such a suck time.

I'm starting to rant again. Oops.

I ordered the stuff for Brooke's wedding invites on Thursday! YAY! I will have it by next week and I will start printing things and putting stuff together. It should go pretty fast, I think. The gluing and stamping of stuff will really be the tough part...and by tough, I mean, time consuming. And that's okay. I'm really not anticipating this being very difficult. The printing part will probably be the annoying part -- mostly because the printer is annoying and loud. But, the ink is cheap, so it's okay.

Well, it's almost 9. I guess I should do something. Maybe. :)